Some people, especially those in relationships with significant age gaps, like to say that age is just a number.
Of course, this is true: When it comes to relationships where one partner is significantly older than the other, it’s not age that matters most.
Instead, it’s all those other little things — shared hobbies and goals, similar temperaments, mutual respect and understanding — that typically determine whether or not a partnership between two people is built to last.
Older men have no problem dating younger women, and the opposite dynamic of older women dating younger men is becoming more common, too. But why? Why would a guy seek out a woman who is five (or more) years older than him? Maybe it’s because they’re in on a little secret that you haven’t quite figured out for yourself yet. If you can’t already guess, there are a lot of benefits to dating a more “seasoned” woman.
If you’re still skeptical, let these relationship experts impart their knowledge upon you. You’ll be a firm believer in no time.
She’ll Likely Have a Wider Worldview
With age comes experience and wisdom, which is precisely why we often turn to those older than us for advice about everyday problems. They’ve been around the block, leaving them equipped with plenty of knowledge that can change a younger person’s viewpoint on whatever issue they may be facing. The same applies in a dating context.
“Some older women are more sophisticated than younger women because they’ve had more time to experience life,” says relationship expert and author April Masini. “They know about more things than younger women might, and they have a lot to offer because of this wealth of experience. The conversation is going to cover a much broader swath of life than it might dating a younger woman. For someone who is just starting to date older women, their points of view, and the way they see the world may be new, fresh, and exciting. This new perspective will affect a man who is sensitive and attentive — he’ll acquire an expanded sensibility and he’ll have the benefit of her experiences.”
She’ll Already Be Financially Secure
As Chicago-based dating coach Tripp Kramer explains, the older a woman is, the higher the probability that she has her financial house in order.
“This is because she is either a) later in her career, (at which point) people generally make more money, or b) she has been through a divorce, which can also grant her more money,” says Kramer.
This isn’t always a done deal, of course, but there are older women out there looking for a young stud like yourself that they can dote on. According to Masini, “When it comes to money, older women dating younger men may be looking for someone they can take care of and mold. Other women may be looking for a younger man who has his own money; it really depends on the woman.”
She Knows What She Wants and Will Be Honest About It
Younger women, like younger men, are often still trying to figure themselves out — what they like, what they don’t; who they can see themselves with; what things in life matter most to them. Older women typically have these things figured out already.
“Because they have more life experience, older women usually don’t want to waste time when they already know what they want,” explains Masini. “They’re usually quicker to make decisions than younger women, who are still deciding what they like and don’t like.”
Emyli Lovz, a San Francisco-based dating coach for men, shares a similar sentiment. “She’s likely been down the rabbit hole of a bad relationship or two,” she adds. “She knows what she’s looking for and doesn’t want to waste her time on the same old guy again. Keep in mind: patterns are hard to break for anyone, so she might be avoidant at first, if you’re not her typical type. In these cases, it’s best to get good at overcoming objections.”
She’ll Have Plenty to Talk About
Growing up a generation apart, or even just at opposite ends of a particular generation, nearly equates with growing up in different universes. Because of this, conversations with an older woman provide an opportunity to expand your perspective in ways you otherwise wouldn’t.
“Assuming that you’re referring to women who might be 38 to 45 … you should have deeper and more meaningful conversations compared to dating a 22-year-old woman,” says Lovz. “She might be more versed in what happened in the real world while you were still in high school or even junior high.”
In fact, Lovz believes that “differences in age are similar to differences in culture,” explaining how what she’s gone through can help you get through any hardships of your own.
“They’re an opportunity to expand your perspective and step out of your own reality,” she adds. “Her experience can help you better understand various stages in your own life, too. She might be particularly helpful with transition periods like moving into a new role at work or navigating the purchase of your first home, if she’s already had life experiences like the ones you’re going through.”
She’ll Probably Have a Solid Amount of Sexual Experience
While it’s tough to generalise, older women will typically bring many years of sexual experience into a relationship with them, and there’s a good chance they will be able to teach you a thing or two in between the sheets.
“Generally speaking, the older she is, the more sex she has had,” explains Kramer. “So, if you are interested in kinkier types of activity or want to explore more of your sexual side, then it could be a great opportunity.”
If you’re looking to date an older woman, there are a number of places to meet one. Whether through friends or work, at a hotel lounge or upscale bar, through yoga class or via an app or website — wherever you may run into an attractive older woman that peaks your interest — don’t be afraid to see where things lead.